I met her after a gap of almost fifteen years and I could not recognise her .She is my childhood friend . There was a time when we used to meet daily. Then college days over , got married and life took different paths .In between we met once or twice ,updated ourselves about each other and once again lost in the maze . This time I was trying to trace her out from various sources but she was not reciprocating . My efforts to contact her were proving futile . I was pertrubed then angry and ultimately abondoned my efforts . I had no inkling why is she not responding .and then this fine evening she was before me and i failed to recognise her .a hesitant smile crept on her lips ..'could not recognise me '
Her voice made me cringe ,'Oh God its you . what happened ' I gasped
Gone was that silky pink complexion ,those full red lips and the head covered tightly with a duppatta pronounced the loss of those curly black traces.
Yes, you guessed it right .She had under gone chemotherapy for breast cancer .Though she was not her previous self at all yet she was looking fit at that moment . She had undergone very traumatic experience ,still it was not fear of death which overshadowed her whole being . Something very strange was peeping through her eyes She was avoiding eye contacts . as if ...as if she is ashamed of something .
I was trying to reason with myself ...she has suffered so much .it 's not only the excruciating physical pain ,the mental agony , thought of impending death ..all these must have effected her psyche .but then ,fear and pain are understandable ,why this shame or hesitancy lurking behind ...as if she is no more sure of herself .
and then during the long hours of gradually progressing conversation ,she whispered ' they had to remove it'
'o, God .so this is the reason .being devoid of a part of body she is not feeling herself. she was feeling ,she is no more a complete woman . It is perhaps the most natural reaction but iIwas compelled to think is this all the womanhood is about . no...a voice shrieked from within and out came these lines
women are the smile
when they are cracking inside
the song
when they want to cry
a big bold NO
midst hue and cry of flimsy' yeses'
if they believe
that is the right answer for the time
the broken heart
when a friend leaves
the rolling tears
when a street puppy dies
that last bout of energy
for someone
even when they are bone tired
that show of courage
when it seems no strength is left
its not the gorgeous clothes
the chic hairdo
the 36-23-36
or even that brilliant piece of mind
its that large, loving ,all encompassing heart
that makes women what they are
so my dear friend you need not shy away from anybody . we love you for what you are . we respect your fortitude. to us you are the real woman 'THE SHAKTI'.
Her voice made me cringe ,'Oh God its you . what happened ' I gasped
Gone was that silky pink complexion ,those full red lips and the head covered tightly with a duppatta pronounced the loss of those curly black traces.
Yes, you guessed it right .She had under gone chemotherapy for breast cancer .Though she was not her previous self at all yet she was looking fit at that moment . She had undergone very traumatic experience ,still it was not fear of death which overshadowed her whole being . Something very strange was peeping through her eyes She was avoiding eye contacts . as if ...as if she is ashamed of something .
I was trying to reason with myself ...she has suffered so much .it 's not only the excruciating physical pain ,the mental agony , thought of impending death ..all these must have effected her psyche .but then ,fear and pain are understandable ,why this shame or hesitancy lurking behind ...as if she is no more sure of herself .
and then during the long hours of gradually progressing conversation ,she whispered ' they had to remove it'
'o, God .so this is the reason .being devoid of a part of body she is not feeling herself. she was feeling ,she is no more a complete woman . It is perhaps the most natural reaction but iIwas compelled to think is this all the womanhood is about . no...a voice shrieked from within and out came these lines
women are the smile
when they are cracking inside
the song
when they want to cry
a big bold NO
midst hue and cry of flimsy' yeses'
if they believe
that is the right answer for the time
the broken heart
when a friend leaves
the rolling tears
when a street puppy dies
that last bout of energy
for someone
even when they are bone tired
that show of courage
when it seems no strength is left
its not the gorgeous clothes
the chic hairdo
the 36-23-36
or even that brilliant piece of mind
its that large, loving ,all encompassing heart
that makes women what they are
so my dear friend you need not shy away from anybody . we love you for what you are . we respect your fortitude. to us you are the real woman 'THE SHAKTI'.
written in Dec 2007
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