FINALLY THEY MET...

The evening was quiet. Very quiet! The quietness as if stretched a bit too far, pulsated with a suppressed volatility. They were seated on the corner most table of the lake-side restaurant with two cups of steaming coffee between them. She was nibbling a piece of chips, her eyes fixed somewhere in the distant sky beyond the tall trees on the other side of the lake.

The lake water stood still. Desolate pedal boats gathered at one end. Usually, at this hour the lake area bustles -- with the pedal boats being rowed and the surrounding resonating with laughter of visitors. Today, the lake-side was silent as if the whole scenario was in sync with their mood.

She knew that he was looking at her. Still she kept gazing at the farthest point as if trying not to disturb him, letting him float in his own world of thoughts.

She was looking astonishingly ravishing in her peacock-blue saree. The blue danglers dropping from her ears were glowing like fireflies in the growing darkness of the dusk. Her ever-laughing eyes had that somber expression almost on the fringe of a dull ache. “Or were they reflecting a confused, perturbed state...trying to hold something illusive” he questioned himself.

He thought he understood what was bothering her. A faint bubble of happiness started to fill his heart but he quashed it, rebuffed it. No, he did not want her to find it out. He could not tolerate even the thought of her suffering, that too when he would not be there.

"Please, please God! Let it stay hidden. Let her not discover the truth that’s buried within her; Not now, not later; never." He made a silent prayer looking at her innocent face.

The impending separation was crushing him. "Only God knows when I'll be able to meet her next and if at all there was going to be a next time" he wondered.

The smoldering uncertainty and excruciating pain was killing him, tearing his heart apart. He had prepared himself to bear it. But he did not wish to see a deserted look in her eyes. How he had longed to close those eyes tenderly with a butterfly kiss and next moment when she opened her eyes he could see those dancing pools of mirth. He sighed, deeply!

Whenever he thought about her and that was almost in every breath, his whole being suffused with a tender pain. She was very precious to him and the fear of losing her always lingered in his heart. Losing her??...Had he even got her?

It was more than two years since she noticed him for the first time on that fateful day in the bank branch. After the initial awkwardness he felt quite comfortable with her. During his days of silent admiration he could have never imagined that one day he would share such a wonderful relationship with her.

Credit went entirely to her. She communicated with such genuine interest and involvement that every body felt at ease with her. With her one had to be honest on ones part. She had an uncanny ability to read others thoughts and she hated any kind of cheating. If ever she got enraged...goodness! It required real courage to face her. Thankfully that happened rarely. Mostly she was jovial.

“Oh!! What am I doing? Getting lost in thoughts... and time is flying away" he jerked his head.

He had to leave next day to report at his new office, a posting in a far off state. He was going to join as a probationary officer in nationalized bank with national and international network. He attributed this success to her, only her. She'd made him aware of the many possibilities and avenues open to him.

She had inspired him to develop the confidence and courage to dream. Facing interviews, communicating in fluent flawless English, stating his point of views with conviction in group discussions -- he could have never done it but for her help. She assisted him and had helped him gain the required exposure.

"Is it all about our relationship? Is she just a master craftsman and I, her masterpiece?" he searched his heart.

No. He had filled a vacuum in her life though she was not aware of that emptiness.

He had realized that this self-sufficient, confidant girl who was respected and admired for her strengths also had a tiny wish deep within that she hid even from herself. She also wanted to be cared, pampered and handled very tenderly. She was so habitual of behaving in that particular way that she herself was not aware of this desire. Perhaps she never thought about it. She was treated differently. She behaved differently. She never liked to be considered as weak.

His deep, unquestioning love made him understand her emotional requirements and her changing feelings towards him even before she could guess it.

He did not want her to fathom her feelings because he feared that a life long commitment might destroy the beauty of their silent affection.

Not that her parents will not agree to it due to the disparity in social status or caste difference. He has seen that welcome look in her parents' eyes. But he had many responsibilities at home including educating four younger siblings, pay loans, etc.

Now that a new world of opportunities was opening before him, he wanted to provide his siblings all that that he had missed -- education in good institutions and better opportunities to develop their personality. All this will take a very long time. Even if he did not have all these responsibilities he would take many years to acquire her kind of lifestyle and status.

Not that she or her parents will object to doing his duties towards his family but they will definitely try to ‘help’ him in creating the life style, the status she was accustomed to.

He himself wanted her to have all the pleasures of the world but not this way. He wanted to create that beautiful world all by himself. His fears were from within. He felt if he could not achieve this goal, he would never feel the same before her. It was not just ego or self-respect but his intense desire to make her feel precious by his own efforts. He was sure her parents wouldn’t like to wait that long. By confessing his love he didn’t want to make her aware of her feelings too.

So that evening ended there -- she sad and confused, he though feeling miserable but still calm as it was his conscious decision.

Initially they maintained contact -- through letters, greeting cards, occasional phone calls and meeting once in a year or so.

Then she got married, flew and settled down in another country. He never married but achieved a lot in his career. He retired as a high official of a foreign investment bank and settled down in a city far away from his state. His four siblings were settled well in their lives, with kids.

One could not find any trace of that shy hesitant boy in the confident strides of the graceful morning jogger in an expensive track suit in the lawns of that plush housing society. He was involved with many social organizations and member of the advisory boards of few financial institutions. He was invited as speaker in many seminars. But when alone, he always talked to her. All these years she has always been with him. So much so that some times he could hear her voice, even her footsteps.

One evening as he was locking the door to go downstairs for his usual walk, the door of the flat just in front opened and a girl in her late twenties rushed out and almost collided with him. He stood rooted to the spot. The girl was replica of her.

Yes, she was her daughter – confident and bubbly, like her mom! He had come to know from morning walkers about “the mother-daughter duo who had recently acquired that flat”. The daughter had a great job here. She was engaged and her fiancé wanted them to settle here, not in a foreign land. Girl's father had expired five years back so the mother had to come back with her daughter.

Such a rush of emotions gushed inside him that he could not go downstairs. With a wildly throbbing heart he sat in his room, door a bit ajar. Listening to every movement, every sound, he felt like that boy, who used to steal glimpses of her sitting behind the pillar of a bank branch.

How he had yearned to go there, to the other flat. He could have, may be a courtesy call. How he wished that the girl’s mom were her – his beloved. Still, he could not take a chance. What if there was someone else? Sometimes faces of two people entirely unknown to each other also resemble a lot.

Next morning also he could not go for jogging. He was trying to calm himself by flipping on the remote buttons when the door bell rang. The girl was there.

“Sorry to bother you uncle but can I ask a favour from you?”

“Sure beta. I shall be happy to be of any help” he replied with an unabated excitement pounding in his chest.

“Uncle, we are new here. I have to rush to office. Mom is alone with the maid. Can you ask anyone from your family to give her company her for a while at any convenient time of the day? Mom is not yet familiar with the place or people. She has nobody to talk to. She’s feeling a bit low and tired too.”

“Well beta, I am my family. If you and your mother have no problems I can sure inquire upon (?) her.”

She hesitated for a fraction of second and said “Okay. Come then. I shall introduce you to her.”

He followed the girl. There she was, sitting with a steaming cup of coffee in front of her. He halted at the door. She was there before him, in reality. She was looking graceful, a bit mellowed down by age.

Hearing shuffling sounds of feet she raised her eyes. Beyond the shoulder of her daughter her gaze fell on him. Immediately her eyes lighted up.

“You!” she exclaimed with joy.

Surprised, her daughter turned on her heals -- a look on his face and back to her mother's. She knew it's time be out of scene. Perhaps she knew about him. May be she realized that he was the one who had made her mother understand the depth of love. She went out closing the door behind her slowly, as if trying not to disturb the magic of the moment.

He walked slowly towards the empty chair near the table.

The maid kept another cup of steaming coffee on the table.

WRITTEN IN FEB 2009